wishes..hopes..dreams for ALL!

This amazing quote needs no blog-schpeel! It says it all...




Until next blog..

{n i n e} years

For this post I have to start out with an apology to my little blog...I'm sorry I do NOT keep up with it like I should...I honestly do not know how people do it for a living or that have more than one busy child and find the time to consistently keep up with it...maybe that should be my new years resolution! Anyways, back to my post....


Nine years ago I was a junior in high school...I can't say I know what path I was on because I think back and think about where I was headed during that time, and I couldn't tell you. I was coming off of a long list of dating the wrong guy (for me) pattern, I just witnessed the death of my beloved Memaw, and to be honest, was getting a little tired of being treated like I was a bad child at home. Not that I was perfect, but my mom insisted on being on top of me like I gave her a reason to think I was a "party or bad" girl type. I barely did anything, besides shopping...I worked, helped with my little sister, and did my chores. I was a good student and never really gave my parents reasons to worry...but for some reason, if I asked to do anything, I got "I don't know their parents", "no you need to watch your sister", "you need to do x,y, & z" yada-yada-yada. ((for the record, I'm not saying this from a whoa is me stand point, just stating the situation during that time..)) I remember thinking that if I was going to be accused of or constantly asked if I was doing certain things, that maybe I should just start. Maybe I should become a party girl...what did I care. Life was too short, and I had just witnessed a woman, who lived a good "clean" life, was full of faith, never drank, smoked, did drugs etc, suffer through a long, painful death. Why on earth should I be good when life can turn on you no matter how you live... So there you have me nine years ago, on a path looking for "bad". Now fast forward a few weeks later and cue my saving grace...


I had met him when I was a sophomore. I went to a baseball game to watch a then boyfriend play. I said hey could you go get "Mr. Wrong" for me and tell him I'm here! He said sure and was gone for a few minutes. He came back and said "umm he's sort of busy right now...". I was a little disappointed but I figured he was warming up or something for the game, but he said "I can't lie to you, he's busy playing video games & just doesn't want to come talk to you....BUT I will." Such a sweet gesture I thought, we chatted a couple of minutes, and then went on our separate ways...I thought that he was nice, but that was all... On to watch the game, after all I was there to watch my boyfriend play. A few weeks went by and Mr. Wrong & I called it quits. Partly because he was a jerk and partly because an old boyfriend, who I thought I would never hear from again that had moved to another state, contacted me again. 


So back to a Mr. Perfectly Wrong for me...a great pattern I hope that my daughter never falls into! School came to an end, summer started with me working full-time, and trying to keep up with a long-distance relationship...every so often when I would be online, the nice guy from the baseball game would "IM" me saying Hello Beautiful! I would tell him I had a boyfriend, we would chat a little, then that would be it. I spent my summer into my junior year, in and out of the hospital with my Memaw. She was becoming seriously ill and having a lot of complications. (short story on her...she contracted in the '80s, Hep C in a blood transfusion, which later turned into Cirrhosis of the Liver,which in the end took her life.) Come November 14th, we were called to go to the hospital to say our goodbye's...they turned off the machines and all day we played the waiting game. I remember thinking with each passing minute that there was a chance that she could have a miracle, wake up and be healed. I was standing there, in what almost felt like a bad dream and like forever all at the same time...starring at this woman whose life was ending too soon, who was too good to deserve this, and who I was going to miss too much. I walked up to her and I said goodbye Memaw, I Love You...and that was it. She died....the line went flat and she physically left us. I was so overcome with emotions from, she waited on me because she knew how upset I was that I didn't come up with my parents that last weekend, to maybe I shouldn't have said goodbye and maybe she would have held on longer. But it was over, she died in front of my own eyes. That was a long, silent drive home. I didn't want to talk about it to anyone and just wanted to be left alone. I got on the computer to email Mr. Perfectly Wrong about what happened...that and snail mail were our only form of communication at the time. As I was typing the email, the nice guy from the baseball field IMed me, Hello Beautiful! popped up on my screen. I typed, you don't even know me and my Memaw just passed away, I'm just trying to email my boyfriend...I don't feel like talking. He told me he was sorry and that if I needed anyone to talk to, he would listen. Pfft, what did this guy know? He didn't even know me and besides I had Mr. Perfectly Wrong to lean on...or so I thought. Mr. PW called me, told me he was sorry, told me how sorry he was that he wasn't going to be able to be there for me, blah-lie-lie-blah...A few days later I found out he had another girlfriend or 2 and that he had been lying to me all along. Whatever, I'm over Mr. Wrong's...in fact I think I'm just going to be single for a little while....In fact, I think I want to just be carefree, figure out how to get into the party crowd, and not care about anything anymore. There was no point... 


Winter-ball was coming up and a girl in class asked me if I was going. I wasn't...didn't have a dress, didn't have a date, and didn't really care. She said "would you go if you had a date? I said I don't know maybe...She said do you know Mr. Perfect For You? Yeah, I met him last year at a baseball game. Would you go with him? I guess, if he didn't have a date." Well you guessed it, he had a date. Just as friends, but he had already promised he would take her and he didn't want to do that to her. I told him it was okay, I understood, but he asked if he could call me later. So he called and we talked a little, then he said he had to go, his dad was making him do the dishes...Sure I thought, the dishes...then later I got an IM: have to finish my english paper, but I'll call you as soon as I'm done. Okay I mean really, he obviously doesn't want to talk to me. But then he sent another message: if I call you back tonight, you'll know I really like you. A couple of hours went by and I thought for sure that he wasn't going to call...but he did. We talked A L L night. Seriously from 10:30pm to 5:30am. We met up between classes and just started to get to know one another. He invited me over to meet his parents (no Mr. Wrong's in the past did that...) I invited him over to meet mine...then Winter-ball came, I went over and helped him get ready. He was going to come over to my friend's house when he was done to hang out. He came over, rang her doorbell, I answered... There he stood with a single rose and asked me to be his girlfriend...


Now I am not saying we have had a perfect relationship...but we have been there for each-other, grown up together, overcome many, many obstacles, supported and loved one another for nine years now. He was there when I wanted to spiral out of control and he let me a few times, but he always helped me back up. He supported me in any decision I have had to make. And most importantly he has loved me for just me. I don't know how he has done it, but I do know that he is my best friend. Some people say you shouldn't be best friends with your spouse, but I'm here to say, you need to be best friend's with your spouse! We wouldn't have it any other way. Who wants to go through life without their best friend by their side? I sure wasn't doing a very good job without him that is for sure!


I know I could have made this world's longest blog...but I didn't want to bore the reader. I feel like I've left so much out...but that's our nine years in a blog-shell! Feel free to leave a comment or a short snip-it about your "best friend"... I appreciate any comments, tips, or suggestions, just leave them in the comment section!

Until next blog...

[social media shenanigans]

It's pretty amazing and somewhat funny, how fast someone can cause a stir on social networking sites. All it takes is for one person to post something about a change coming and it takes off like wild fire...


If you are a Facebook-er, you know recently that someone started saying that they were changing it over to needing payment if you wanted to continue using it. So many people in my news feed were copying and pasting this status in what almost seemed like a panic. I mean if you stop and think about it, would it really be that big of a deal? 


For me personally, and I may be completely alone in this, would not find it detrimental. In fact, I would survive. Would I pay for Facebook? No way. Would I miss it, not really. I use it like a lot of others, to keep in touch with those I don't really see that much. But so many people use it as a lifeline. Remember the days before Facebook? They were great... People still socialized the "old fashioned" way...more face to face. And if you had things to share with those involved in your life, you actually shared them face to face or over the phone or even (gasp!) snail mail. Now it seems as though nothing is private or sacred. People tell you every single detail of their life. They post pictures of every single thing they can, what they have, or what they did. They take the things you post and they use it for their benefit or as a "gossip" tool...


I seriously have not been apart of a conversation that hasn't included the phrase, "well I saw it on Facebook" in years! It almost isn't official anymore, unless it is on Facebook. Maybe I just don't get it...maybe I truly am an old soul. Maybe I don't gain anything from having 100, 200, or 1000 "friends". I hate to break it to some of you, I bet not even half or a handful of those "friends" would even know when your birthday is if fb didn't tell them. And if you really needed one of them for something, they wouldn't be anywhere to be found. Sad, but so true. I just wish people would go back a little more to how things use to be.. There is so much more to this life.

.all.many.few.one.none.

This quote means more than just words that Ben Franklin wrote or said... If you truly read and take in the meaning, you get the message he was sending. Take it phrase by phrase and apply it to your life.


:Be civil to all: Do not treat people with meanness, do not be rude, just be kind. We are all human beings going through our own battles. Every single person deserves to be treated with respect, both to their face and when they are not around. Be civil through and through and you will go further in life. Mean words and being disrespectful will get you no-where in life and leave you alone in the end...and who wants to be stuck in a life like that? For when you truly need someone, they will always remember how you made them feel and decide not to be there for you. 


:Be sociable to many: Learn from people as much as possible. Explore all different walks of life, that is why we are all individuals. If we were all alike, life would be boring and we would never learn anything. Talk with everyone. You might learn so much more than if you just shut the world out or keep a closed mind.


:Familiar with few: Although being sociable is a must, that doesn't mean every single person you meet is your friend or that you have to tell your life story to everyone who crosses your path. Save your secrets. Tell only those closest to you. While it is a good thing to talk with everyone and give them a chance, you shouldn't let too many people in on all that is you and what makes you who you are. Save it for those willing to listen and those who genuinely care for you. There is a difference in being friendly and a difference in babbling on like your the only person on the planet!  


:Friend to one: Sure at some point in your life you will think "I have so many friends", but the cold truth is you don't. You can try, try, try and if you look back, you really will only have one. That one person who is there for you through everything. The friend who doesn't tell you one thing and tell 10 other people another. A friend loves you for who you are. They do not look for your faults and spread them all over the place. They have time for you. Never excuses. And they try just as hard if not harder to be your friend. The words they speak are the words that deserve to spoken about you and to you. They do not make things up to satisfy themselves or others. They only have your best interest at heart, for you have theirs at yours. So is it saying you can't have more than one friend? No, but be a true friend to that friend. Don't be a friend to their face and trash them to the next. That’s not being a friend to anyone or being true to yourself.. 


:Enemy to none: Enough said. Do not do things in your life that will make people not care for you. Be nice. No matter what, just be you. If people do not like it, they do not belong in your life. If they talk bad about you, let them, and do not talk about them in turn. In fact, do not waste your time on them and they will just go away. Do not hang onto them because then you will just become enemies, which causes all involved to lose. We make life, love, and friendships so much more complicated then it really is. Just be you. No matter what life gives you. Keep your head and spirits up. Even during the most difficult times...it will work itself out. It always does. Remember that the hard times can't last forever...just be patient and remember that we all have our problems...different solutions...and our own ways of looking at things.


Until next blog...